I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize