Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
