I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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