My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
