i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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