dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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