"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
