thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
