yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
