Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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