So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
