2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize