Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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