I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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