I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
