I wish they made helmets for livers.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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