I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
