oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
