Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
