woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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