Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
