HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
