is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
