plz talk dirty to me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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