i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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