you have to choose: penises or morals?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
