i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
