Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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