So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
