Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize