I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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