The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
