Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
