On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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