yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
