she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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