If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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