3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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