oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
