O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize