would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
