I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
