she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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