ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You need a sexual gate keeper
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I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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