I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
