What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
