yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
