The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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