Do you still have your period?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Be still, my beating vagina.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
