I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
