The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
