oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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