just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
