fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
