with your own penis?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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