haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
