I heard we made out
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
