I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am