is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down