i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water