Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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