i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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