The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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